Compared to...

Do you find yourself comparing to see how you rank against the people around you?  Are you constantly trying to be more like him or her?  Have you spent an inappropriate amount of time and energy - maybe money too - to keep up with the "Joness"? 

When it comes to weight and fitness, this happens all the time, right?  But it also happens at work, in the neighborhood, within families, among friends.  It happens between new mothers, newlyweds, and new college students.  Everyone trying to fit in, but also to measure up. 

Source

The truth is that you are great.  And there will always be someone who is richer, skinnier, more beautiful, smarter, better at _____.  And it doesn't matter.  Your race doesn't need to be against someone else.  Whatever your battle, calling, purpose...your in a one woman, one man race against yourself.  Your job is to be the best you that you can be...To use the gifts, talents, and treasures that God has entrusted to your care to the best of your ability to serve him and bless others.  

Original Source Unknown

If you're struggling with comparison, Northpoint Community Church's The Comparison Trap is a great resource for you.  Take time to consider how wonderfully made you are and let go of the expectation that you will be like someone else.  You are good enough.  Be patient with yourself.  Be healthy!

Honestly...Sometimes I don't want to be nice

Recently, I was having a "moment" and broadcasted it on Facebook.  It went like this, "Can I be honest?  Sometimes I don't want to be nice."  I was surprised by the response from my friends and connections.  Dozens of people 'liked' my status and it drew lots of comments.  I generally stick to positive messaging and am honestly an optimist anyway so it's usually easy.  However, everyone can resonate with the fact that sometimes we just don't want to be nice.  Whether we're having a bad day, someone's pushing our buttons, or we're faced with someone who is genuinely not nice to us, we all have moments when we don't want to be nice.

Then comes the choice.  I don't have to be nice.  There's no one holding my feet to the fire and making me be nice.  Being nice is a choice.  Most of the time, I make that choice.  Sometimes I fail and I'm a total jerk.  As good as I am at being nice, I'm equally good at being sarcastic and harsh (sometimes better).  While I can choose not to be nice, most of the time that choice hurts me more than anyone else.  Guilty conscience, hurt feelings and damaged relationships aren't worth the choice to act out when I don't feel like being nice.

 He who guards his mouth and his tongue, guards his soul from troubles. Proverbs 21:23

I have to remember that I get to choose my feelings.  I believe that part of being mature is making the choice to be nice, regardless of how I feel.  Children are slaves to their emotions until they learn that tantrums are inappropriate.  We teach them not to hit others, scream or use inappropriate language, and flail around uncontrolled.  Shouldn't I expect more of myself?

He who guards his mouth and his tongue, Guards his soul from troubles. - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Self-Control#sthash.031X1BnT.dpuf

I don't have to be friends with the person on the receiving end. Yet, Jesus calls me to display his love regardless of how I feel and if they become my friend, all the better.  It doesn't mean that I don't get to have a bad day or that I won't sometimes be ugly (southerinsm for being a jerk), but it isn't what I'm called to.

 But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. "Whoever hits you on the cheek, offer him the other also; and whoever takes away your coat, do not withhold your shirt from him either." Luke 6:27-29

"But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. "Whoever hits you on the cheek, offer him the other also; and whoever takes away your coat, do not withhold your shirt from him either. - See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Self-Control#sthash.031X1BnT.dpuf

I'm called to show people with my actions and attitude that they are important - important enough for God to send his son Jesus Christ for them.  There's no exception to this admonition.  But it's not just about the other person.  The truth is that when I do this, in spite of my feelings, my feelings change.  I change.  Emotionally and spiritually, I become "weller" and get to enjoy a day without less regret.  Along the journey to optimal health, every choice in the right direction is a good one.  Even when I don't want to.  Be healthy!

Keeping It Simple

Can I do this?  Can you?  Want to try?  A simple life sounds good to me today.  How about you? Be healthy!

Four Months!

Today my little man is 4 months old!  What a fun milestone.  He's doing all kinds of cute things - just started rolling over, although he doesn't always know he can do it.  He babbles a lot and giggles and coos.  We'll start solid foods soon, but so far has plumped up beautiful on mommy milk alone.  He's happy and sweet.  He's learning how to sleep better all the time.  (Thank God!)

What?  How's mommy?  At four months seems like a good postpartum check in.  Well, physically I feel good.  A little more sleep would give me more energy, but that will come.  My body has just about returned to pre-pregnancy status, although there are changes that I think may never be the same again.  I'm still not in a regular exercise routine, but that will come.  Emotionally, I'm doing well.  In spite of occasional total-meltdowns, I am happier than I've ever been.  Learning to juggle all of the things I want to do with all of the things I have to do is the hardest part.  Setting aside my personal ambitions for the work I've been called to is hard.  But I know - every day, I know - it is worth it.  Spiritually, I'm peaceful.  God has filled my life with so much love.  Not just through this baby, but through my sweetheart, friends, family, and (most of all) through Jesus.  It's a good day.  Four months ago, my life changed forever...for the better.

How are you (physically, emotionally, spiritually) today?  Take an inventory.  Be healthy!

Christmas Craziness

Is it me or has the Christmas craziness already started?  Okay, I know it's December, but still!  Shopping, decorating, cooking, scheduling parties, Santa pics, ordering Christmas cards, don't forget stamps, oh and the holiday office parties...whew.  I'm exhausted already.

During the hustle and bustle, be sure to take time to breathe. You should know by now that I'm a big believer in the importance of being physically, emotionally and spiritually well.  Take time to relax and to take care of yourself.  Nourish yourself with plenty of good food - not the crap on the center of the conference table (yes, I know about that).  Drink plenty of water - the winter air and central heating dry you from the outside in.  And be sure to take time to rest and meditate on the reason for the season.

Yesterday was the first day of December and the first day of Advent.  I've never really paid too much attention to Advent.  I came to Christ as an adult and in a relatively nontraditional church.  Now I attend a very nontraditional church.  Advent always seemed like something for Catholics or more orthodox Christians.  But the more I know my God, the more I revere his presence.  The more I want to find intentional ways to stop and BE WITH Him.  Advent is about the anticipation of Christ's birth - the Savior of the world coming in the flesh for you and for me.  We are observing Advent in our home by reading specific passages each day from yesterday through Christmas day.  We have to do it at dinner, because it's just the only moment when we are all settled in the same place together and able to give the Scripture and each other our undivided attention.  It works and we believe is establishing a wonderful tradition for our family!

The house is decorated.  Gifts have been purchased.  All that remains is the arrival of the most special guest.  Be healthy!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Walking the talk, we go up early on one of the coldest Thanksgivings on record to participate in our annual 5k. A healthy way to start, a gift of service to a local charity and a legacy of both for our son.

I'm grateful for good health, family, friends, met needs, and (most of all) Jesus.  Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!!

Thank You for Your Patience

Are you the patient sort?  If you are and your in my life, oh my goodness thank you.  I've needed so much of it these days, as I've been short tempered and so, so forgetful.  Lack of sleep and distraction combine to make me forget the most simple and the most important things - doctor's appointments, birthday parties, and milk.  If you've been on the receiving end of that recently, thank you for your patience.  I hope to regain my brain again in about 18 years.  Hang in there with me.

As for me...I am not especially patient.  I've gotten better, but inside me is still a little impatient toddler.  I know that it's true about me.  Here's what else I know.  Impatience is not loving.  It is not kind. It is not conducive to wellness and peace.  To me, impatience is really about arrogance and pride.  It says, "I'm so important that you wasting my time (even when I don't have anywhere else in particular to be) makes me angry.  When you ask that same question again it makes me frustrated with you, and (perhaps) doubt your intelligence"  Of course, no one would admit that this is what's on their mind and they may not even realize it - I don't always realize it.  Yet, I find myself on the giving and receiving end of this attitude more often than I would care to admit.

More than anything, it does not reflect the love of Jesus, which is so essential to me in my life.  I know that I don't do it well, but my goal really is to love others so that they can see Him. 

A hundred years ago I was a bartender and I used to say, you never know what someone's been through before they got to me, so I'm going to be nice to everyone who comes to my bar.  (Another Harvey quote: "No one ever brings anything small into a bar." E.P. Dowd)  Whether your bar-tending, cashiering, car pooling, or mommying - whatever you're doing - this truth remains: People need patience with others and with themselves.  At this time of year, especially.  Today, I'm going to practice patience and invite you to join me.  One moment at a time.  Be healthy!

Wonderful Wednesday

Wednesdays are wonderful because they are the passing of the 1/2 way point to the weekend.  I know that I am not alone in this because so many people call it hump day and celebrate this day with long sighs...inaudible to some, but I hear them. 

Seriously, Wednesday is wonderful.  If you don't think Wednesday is wonderful, you should practice saying that it is.  Your brain will be tricked very quickly into thinking that Wednesday is wonderful.  That's how affirmations work.  We reprogram our brains to think what we want them to think.  It will work with other things too.  For instance, say "I love my job" every morning.  Even if you don't, it will help.  Smiling in the mirror, likewise, will help you feel happier.  It sounds ridiculous, yet it works.  When we do the action or say the words, our emotions follow.  In that way, we are in charge of our emotions, not the other way around.  In fact, this reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by Charles Swindoll (you may have heard it before):

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.  Attitude, to me, is more important than facts.  It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think, say or do.  It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.  It will make or break a company... a church... a home.  The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we embrace for that day.  We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.  We cannot change the inevitable.  The only thing we can do is play the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes”

If you've been a slave to your emotions, today is a good day to do something different.  Choose your attitude.  Have a wonderful Wednesday!

Serenity

One of my favorite words is serenity.  The idea of peaceful being, present in the moment without being frazzled, resentment aside, anger diffused, and worry thwarted is heavenly.  I have not perfected the art of being serene all the time, but I have found it some of the time.  I believe that being truly healthy includes mindfulness, relaxation, and a peaceful disposition.  As a new mom, I find moments of peaceful serenity even more difficult to find and hang on to, what with the sleep deprivation that some of my friends assure me will never go away and all.  As I'm sure you experience, life can be so fast and demanding.  When I am mindful and aware of myself, I can find serenity in just moments.

First, I take an inventory of my physical self.  How do I feel, physically?  I take a deep breathe, sometimes close my eyes.  If I feel any tension or discomfort, I move or massage that part of my body until it releases or I'm more comfortable.  I might sit on the floor or comfortably in a chair.  I take another slow, longer, deeper breathe and feel the muscles in my shoulders, neck, back relax.  Go ahead, try it.

Research has shown that deep breathing helps relax the muscles, reduce blood pressure, and increase oxygen available to the brain so we can think more clearly.  Most of us are shallow breathers.

Then, try to relax my thoughts.  I try to quiet the voices that are calling me to do this task or make this decision.  For me, it helps to focus on my faith.  Whatever is pulling at me, I imagine laying at the feet of Jesus.  Sometimes I think of Him seated on a throne and I literally approach and put whatever it is in His lap.  I have done this with my work, my past, my marriage, and my son, among others.  I know that He loves me and will take better care of the things that worry me that I ever could.

Finally, I focus on a truth from scripture - a concept, passage, or even just a word to remind me that my life is good.

²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

Matthew 6:25-34

My Heavenly Father loves me and is caring for me now.  He was always with me in my past and is already ahead of me in the future.  I can rest in this moment and know that He is here.  That is serenity. He loves you too.  Take a deep breathe now and find yourself some serenity.