What to Think...

Wherever You Are...

First Things First

As it is the 2nd (3rd when you read this), my mind is still on the beginning of a new year.  Things I want to accomplish professionally and personally, anticipation for wonderful milestones with my baby boy, and hopes for expanding our family.  I'll get back to all of that on the next post.  Today is about priorities.

As I was working through my day - feed the baby, play, rock the baby to sleep, write/email/laundry, repeat - I read a post on Facebook that a friend's son is being moved to hospice following a battle with cancer.  The post stopped me in my tracks.  My friend is the same age as me, we went to high-school together.  She started her family earlier, so her son is nearly grown.  Still, my heart knows that he remains her baby boy and it breaks with hers at the thought of what she's facing.  I can hardly force myself to think about it.  As a new mom, my heart is too tender still, hormones too ripe - no, that wouldn't matter.  Mothers aren't supposed to bury their children.  I prayed for her right away.  I've prayed for her over and over today.

After reading her post, my perspective shifted.  My priorities got right.  I cried for her.  I found myself on my hands and knees scrubbing the shower praying for her.  Crying for her and at the same time thanking God that my greatest inconvenience of the day is fighting the mold in my shower grout.  Grateful that I have the opportunity to be exhausted from lack of sleep and days that run into each other as I change diapers, wake up at night to calm tears, feed and rock my son, clean our house (even the floors and the bathrooms), and work for my clients, without the heartbreak my friend suffers.  But for the grace of God...

Yet I know the grace of God is with her too.  It is with her son.  Though they may not always know, His grace is with all those who suffer loss, injustice, the unfairness of cancer, "random" accidents, heartbreaks that we cannot, do not understand.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit. ~Psalm 34:18

I do not understand why.  I won't pretend to understand.  I have borne witness to the losses of friends and loved ones - holding the hands and sharing my heart with others as they've lost in ways I do not fully understand.  Felt completely helpless, useless, because I didn't understand why then either.  In the midst of loss, I have known what I know still.  God does not leave us alone in our pain.  We may not always feel His presence or hear his voice, but He does not leave us.  Whatever comes, my deepest desire is that my heart be tethered to Him, to the One who knows, who sees all of history past and future together and knows the whole story. And to be able to share that with others in their suffering - and in their joy.

Abide in me and I in you.  As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in me. ~John 15:4

I want to abide in Jesus.  [Verb: Abide - live; dwell.]  I want to live, to dwell with Jesus. To find rest in Jesus. How do I do that in a crazy world? with so many competing "priorities"? with pain and suffering and sorrow?  The simple phrase "keep first things first" fits.  If Jesus is to be first, it must be how I start each day.  Scripture.  Prayer.  To prioritize means to make first, more important than other things.  First thing each day I need to seek His face, His will, His word.  First thing when worry, fear, calamity strike.  First thing when I see needs, feel the heartache of someone else.  To paraphrase Ann Graham Lotz...Jesus.  Just give me Jesus.  Not Jesus and ___.  Jesus is enough.  He is first.  Abide in Him today.

Wonderful Wednesday

Wednesdays are wonderful because they are the passing of the 1/2 way point to the weekend.  I know that I am not alone in this because so many people call it hump day and celebrate this day with long sighs...inaudible to some, but I hear them. 

Seriously, Wednesday is wonderful.  If you don't think Wednesday is wonderful, you should practice saying that it is.  Your brain will be tricked very quickly into thinking that Wednesday is wonderful.  That's how affirmations work.  We reprogram our brains to think what we want them to think.  It will work with other things too.  For instance, say "I love my job" every morning.  Even if you don't, it will help.  Smiling in the mirror, likewise, will help you feel happier.  It sounds ridiculous, yet it works.  When we do the action or say the words, our emotions follow.  In that way, we are in charge of our emotions, not the other way around.  In fact, this reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by Charles Swindoll (you may have heard it before):

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.  Attitude, to me, is more important than facts.  It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think, say or do.  It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.  It will make or break a company... a church... a home.  The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we embrace for that day.  We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.  We cannot change the inevitable.  The only thing we can do is play the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes”

If you've been a slave to your emotions, today is a good day to do something different.  Choose your attitude.  Have a wonderful Wednesday!

Serenity

One of my favorite words is serenity.  The idea of peaceful being, present in the moment without being frazzled, resentment aside, anger diffused, and worry thwarted is heavenly.  I have not perfected the art of being serene all the time, but I have found it some of the time.  I believe that being truly healthy includes mindfulness, relaxation, and a peaceful disposition.  As a new mom, I find moments of peaceful serenity even more difficult to find and hang on to, what with the sleep deprivation that some of my friends assure me will never go away and all.  As I'm sure you experience, life can be so fast and demanding.  When I am mindful and aware of myself, I can find serenity in just moments.

First, I take an inventory of my physical self.  How do I feel, physically?  I take a deep breathe, sometimes close my eyes.  If I feel any tension or discomfort, I move or massage that part of my body until it releases or I'm more comfortable.  I might sit on the floor or comfortably in a chair.  I take another slow, longer, deeper breathe and feel the muscles in my shoulders, neck, back relax.  Go ahead, try it.

Research has shown that deep breathing helps relax the muscles, reduce blood pressure, and increase oxygen available to the brain so we can think more clearly.  Most of us are shallow breathers.

Then, try to relax my thoughts.  I try to quiet the voices that are calling me to do this task or make this decision.  For me, it helps to focus on my faith.  Whatever is pulling at me, I imagine laying at the feet of Jesus.  Sometimes I think of Him seated on a throne and I literally approach and put whatever it is in His lap.  I have done this with my work, my past, my marriage, and my son, among others.  I know that He loves me and will take better care of the things that worry me that I ever could.

Finally, I focus on a truth from scripture - a concept, passage, or even just a word to remind me that my life is good.

²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

Matthew 6:25-34

My Heavenly Father loves me and is caring for me now.  He was always with me in my past and is already ahead of me in the future.  I can rest in this moment and know that He is here.  That is serenity. He loves you too.  Take a deep breathe now and find yourself some serenity.

How to Care for Mommy

I've learned a lot about how to care for a baby, how to function on very little sleep, even how to juggle laundry, dinner, and nursing a newborn.  I'm still learning how to care for a mommy.  After such a crazy week, I practiced a little self-care.  If you're not familiar with the concept, it basically means that I did some things that had no purpose except to make me smile, feel good, and relax.  Novel concept, huh?!  We mommys are notorious for taking care of everyone else.  The truth is that we have to take care of ourselves in order to be able to take care of others well.  I enlisted the help of my favorite aunt to care for Baby G for a few hours so that I could do that.  It doesn't have to be an expensive spa day, although that would be awe-some.  It can just be indulging in s-l-o-w-l-y enjoying some of your favorite things.  Being mindful and present in your/my life.  Here's how I did it.

I drank a latte.  Even though I made it myself, it was a treat. 
Real foamed whole milk and cinnamon - didn't spare anything and I drank it slowly.

I went shopping. By. My. Self.

Bought this cute Anthropologie sweater - perfect with a chunky black belt, tights or leggings and boots - for a steal.

And this denim jacket (ignore the pants and imagine it with something way cuter).

I went outside and stood in the sunshine.

And took a brisk walk.

Then, I listened to my baby babble and laugh and I kissed him all over his face.

I took some time to breathe and remember that life is one day at a time.  Today is good.  Whenever today is.  How will you take care of yourself today?

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. - Matthew 6:34