First Things First

As it is the 2nd (3rd when you read this), my mind is still on the beginning of a new year.  Things I want to accomplish professionally and personally, anticipation for wonderful milestones with my baby boy, and hopes for expanding our family.  I'll get back to all of that on the next post.  Today is about priorities.

As I was working through my day - feed the baby, play, rock the baby to sleep, write/email/laundry, repeat - I read a post on Facebook that a friend's son is being moved to hospice following a battle with cancer.  The post stopped me in my tracks.  My friend is the same age as me, we went to high-school together.  She started her family earlier, so her son is nearly grown.  Still, my heart knows that he remains her baby boy and it breaks with hers at the thought of what she's facing.  I can hardly force myself to think about it.  As a new mom, my heart is too tender still, hormones too ripe - no, that wouldn't matter.  Mothers aren't supposed to bury their children.  I prayed for her right away.  I've prayed for her over and over today.

After reading her post, my perspective shifted.  My priorities got right.  I cried for her.  I found myself on my hands and knees scrubbing the shower praying for her.  Crying for her and at the same time thanking God that my greatest inconvenience of the day is fighting the mold in my shower grout.  Grateful that I have the opportunity to be exhausted from lack of sleep and days that run into each other as I change diapers, wake up at night to calm tears, feed and rock my son, clean our house (even the floors and the bathrooms), and work for my clients, without the heartbreak my friend suffers.  But for the grace of God...

Yet I know the grace of God is with her too.  It is with her son.  Though they may not always know, His grace is with all those who suffer loss, injustice, the unfairness of cancer, "random" accidents, heartbreaks that we cannot, do not understand.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit. ~Psalm 34:18

I do not understand why.  I won't pretend to understand.  I have borne witness to the losses of friends and loved ones - holding the hands and sharing my heart with others as they've lost in ways I do not fully understand.  Felt completely helpless, useless, because I didn't understand why then either.  In the midst of loss, I have known what I know still.  God does not leave us alone in our pain.  We may not always feel His presence or hear his voice, but He does not leave us.  Whatever comes, my deepest desire is that my heart be tethered to Him, to the One who knows, who sees all of history past and future together and knows the whole story. And to be able to share that with others in their suffering - and in their joy.

Abide in me and I in you.  As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in me. ~John 15:4

I want to abide in Jesus.  [Verb: Abide - live; dwell.]  I want to live, to dwell with Jesus. To find rest in Jesus. How do I do that in a crazy world? with so many competing "priorities"? with pain and suffering and sorrow?  The simple phrase "keep first things first" fits.  If Jesus is to be first, it must be how I start each day.  Scripture.  Prayer.  To prioritize means to make first, more important than other things.  First thing each day I need to seek His face, His will, His word.  First thing when worry, fear, calamity strike.  First thing when I see needs, feel the heartache of someone else.  To paraphrase Ann Graham Lotz...Jesus.  Just give me Jesus.  Not Jesus and ___.  Jesus is enough.  He is first.  Abide in Him today.

Ten Days to Go - How is your heart?

Well, here we are...10 days until Christmas. I've been swamped with no time to focus on writing here (I write a lot for paid work and that gets my time first!).  How about you?  Are you ready?  Are you stressed?  Do you remember the reason for the celebration?  How is your heart?

I'm as guilty as anyone about getting caught up in the rush to the "finish line" and forgetting to keep things in perspective...forgetting about the importance of the anticipation of Jesus.  That's what these 10 days should be about.  In ten days, we celebrate the fact that heaven opened up and sent THE Savior of the world.  God looked down on all that he'd created and realized we needed help.  In his incredible mercy, he took pity on the human race and delivered unto us a child.  But not just any child.  His child.

As a new mother, I cannot imagine sending my child out into this cruel world...to die a horrible death...to suffer at the hands of others...to save selfish, ungrateful, unkind...me.  Yet, I am immeasurably humbled at the thought that while I was still an enemy of God, he chose to redeem me with his own son and he chose a young, inexperienced, unassuming, but sold-out girl to do it.  Of course, Mary did not know at first what would be asked of her child, how her mommy heart would be broken.  What a gift that the Lord did not reveal to her the fullness of His plan, because she might not have been able to handle it.  I don't think I could have.  Thank you, Lord for loving me.  For demonstrating your love and compassion by walking alongside those who are willing to walk in your way - even when it doesn't make sense to them, You steady their path and give light to the next step leading them to Your will.  Thank you most of all for Jesus.

Luke 1: 30-38
30But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. 31You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. 32He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, 33and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end.” 

34“How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?”

35The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. 36Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be unable to conceive is in her sixth month. 37For no word from God will ever fail.”

38“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.” Then the angel left her.