Weekend Meditation: Whispers of Hope

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My women's small group has decided to use Beth Moore's Whispers of Hope book to study prayer.  There are few disciplines that I think are more important...or more challenging.  Prayer is our direct connection to God.  It is one of the ways we learn to understand the mind of God and to discern scripture, and one way we experience his presence.  Through this study, I hope to understand better God's purpose and provision through prayer. 

As I flipped through the book, I came to this scripture, "Like clay in the hands of the potter, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel." Jeremiah 18:6

I want to be like clay in His hands.  I know that I can't change the broken and bent places in me.  I can't change my mind from thinking about things wrong or my behavior from doing things that are not God's will for me, but when I yield myself to His hands, to His Word and His Spirit, He can change me.  I need it.  I'm so grateful for the hope that is in God's work in me through Jesus and the Holy Spirit.


Praying for all who read this post today.  Be healthy!

On Waiting

Timing is everything, right?  We hear this over and over.  But it's hard to remember - hard to accept when the timing isn't our timing.  When I'm waiting for something, I am so impatient.  Patience is a virtue - just not one of mine.  Yet, I have seen over and over in my life that God's timing is not my timing AND it is perfect.

Today I got a call from a friend who has finally brought home a child of her own.  After the heartbreak of years of infertility, miscarriage, and unfulfilled longing, she finally has a child of her own.  Needless to say, she is full of joy.  One of the first things she said to me was "God's timing is perfect."  Indeed it is. In spite of her waiting, in spite of the pain and loss she experienced in the mean time, she is able to see that His timing is exactly right.  I know how she feels.  I waited a long time for the miracle of becoming mommy to my son too.

I have other friends who are still waiting.  Wonderful friends that I know will be amazing parents.  Longing to have a child together, to double the love they have for each other.  God's timing is perfect here too.  One friend will go in for a D&C because she lost her baby...a baby she's been waiting for years to celebrate.  God's timing is perfect for her too, right?  Another who recently lost the child she had also waited for years to hold, then raised with love and joy, only to see him lost to cancer (that awful thief).  Some will ask, is His timing perfect here too?

I do not understand God's timing.  But I know the character of God.  He is good.  All the time.  He is faithful.  All the time.  When we stand with Him, He gives us strength.  His best for us is better than any good I could pray for.  We ask for pennies, but He has riches for us.  Sometimes we cannot understand the waiting.  Yet, I am convinced that some of the greatest work that God has done in me has been done in the waiting.  During the hard days - the days when I could not see any further than my own two hands on the ground in front of my bent knees.  If only we could find joy in the waiting, in the sometimes-suffering, in the longing.  How?  Paul knew the "secret"...

 But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly, that now at last you have revived your concern for me; indeed, you were concerned before, but you lacked opportunity. Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Nevertheless, you have done well to share with me in my affliction. ~Philippians 4:10-14

He seems to be talking about physical needs, but I think that our emotional and spiritual needs are no less important.  How can we manage when our hearts are hungry?  First, we find our joy in Christ and He strengthens us in times of need and in times of plenty.  Whatever we're waiting for, He knows and He is with us. He gives us the courage, determination, strength and peace we need.  Second, we share our burden.  We aren't called to carry the weight of our waiting alone.  God gives us to each other to provide support, encouragement, and love - to be His hands and feet.  Whatever you're waiting for, I pray you're not waiting alone.  And if you are not in a place of waiting, be an encouragement.  There are people all around you waiting.  Be a witness with them in their waiting.  Give them some of yourself, for you are sure to find yourself waiting eventually.  Be present and faithful.  Be healthy!

Weekend Meditation: Abundance

During a period of intense transition in my life, I found myself seeking God's wisdom and direction (always a good thing to do - not just during "transition").  I adopted this passage as my mantra in considering what the next phase of my life might look like:

The thief comes to steal and destroy; [Jesus] came that [I] might have life and have it abundantly. ~John 10:10 (emphasis mine)

This morning, I was reading through some inspiration (Twenty Four Hours a Day) and came upon this:

Love the busy life. It is a joy-filled life. Take your fill of joy in the Spring. Live outdoors whenever possible. Sun and air are nature's great healing forces.  That inward joy changes poisoned blood into pure, healthy, life-giving flow. But never forget that the real healing of the spirit comes from within, from the close, loving contact of your spirit with God's spirit. Keep in close communion with God's spirit day by day.

Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may learn to live the abundant life.  I pray that I may enjoy a close contact with God this day and be glad in it.

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What a timely reminder that sometimes an abundant life is a busy life!  There is joy in busyness as long as there remains time to keep connected with the Spirit - as long as I take time to fix my eyes on the giver of this busy, abundant life.  Today, take a moment during your busyness to stop, breathe, and celebrate the abundance in your life.  It may not look like you expected.  It may not be all that you want.  Abundance can show itself in the most unlikely places - bulbs sprouting up from the cold earth after an especially long winter; the laughter of a child you love (yes, even while you are longing for your own); the warm nuzzle of a faithful furry companion; the filtered sunlight in the room where you find yourself contemplating this now; the knowledge that you have everything you need because Jesus is the lover of your soul.  My life is busy and it is abundant.  Gratitude helps turn the stress of a busy life into abundance.  Thank you, Lord for my busy life.  Help me make the most of every moment.  Praying this for you too.  Practice self-care for your spirit today.  Be healthy!

Heaven Won't Look Like My Little Baptist Congregation

This morning over my coffee, I was reading a story about a worldwide movement to end modern day slavery - to expose sex trafficking and rescue children and young people who had been captured and forced into servitude.  It's a travesty and it makes me angry to know that there are adults who prey on innocence.  As a mother, it makes me hold my baby closer and others at more of a distance.  The depravity of man (and woman) knows no bounds.

In the midst of this pondering, I look for ways to help.  What can I do?  I'm one person.  Not a politician, a leader, famous.  Here are some organizations that are helping and I can help them.  So can you:

• Not For Sale
• Street Grace
• Polaris Project
• The 21 Campaign

There are others.  I'm sure there are many - and there's probably one in your town.  Don't ignore this problem.  Teach your children about the danger and the opportunities to rescue others.  Pray for the children and adults in slavery being exploited and those recovering from the effects of sex trafficking.  Pray that the people involved would be convicted in their hearts (and in courts) about the wrong they are doing.

The global scale of this issue also leads me to a meditation about heaven. Many years ago, God blessed me with the opportunity to go to Burkina Faso to tell others about Him.  I was a young believer and it was really the only time I'd been to a third-world country.  My eyes were opened and my world was forever changed.  Before this trip, church for me was a stoic stand up, sit down, clap your hands a little and sing along with everyone else, while the BK believers danced wildly, sang loudly, shook tambourines and cried out in their faith!  It was frightening and exciting and connected me to a place of release and freedom for my faith.  I realized in full - for the first time - that heaven won't look like my little Baptist congregation (not that there's anything wrong with a little Baptist confeegation, per se).  It will be filled with people from all over the world - white, black, brown, yellow and every hue in between.  Languages will be strange, but we will understand each other.  The celebration will go on forever and the singing will never end. 

2Let Israel be glad in his Maker; Let the sons of Zion rejoice in their King. 3Let them praise His name with dancing; Let them sing praises to Him with timbrel and lyre. ~Psalm 149:2-3

Praise Him today and pray for those who are lost.  The children and young people involved in sex trafficking may not look like you (although they might).  They may not be in your backyard (although if you are in Atlanta, they might be).  Yet, they are like you - wonderfully created and worthy of our prayers, intervention and love.  Be faithful.  Be healthy!

Do you have what it takes?

When I was pregnant, we decided to wait to find out if our child was a boy or girl until his birthday.  I love surprises and can hardly think of a more exciting surprise!  Most people were surprised to hear that we were waiting and often friends and strangers exclaimed, "I couldn't wait!"  Occasionally, we met another couple who had waited and they confirmed that it would add another level of anticipation to the baby's delivery.  At a baby shower, friends and family guessed the day they though the baby might come and gender. It was a lot of fun for me to dream about being mother to a baby boy or baby girl.  Most people were so kind and encouraging throughout my pregnancy. 

But someone along the way said to me, "You can't be a mother to a boy."  Has anyone ever said something to you that just got in your head and stuck there?  Maybe someone planted a seed of doubt about your ability to excel at school, or to be beautiful, or to overcome some disability.  Perhaps you had a goal to meet and someone told you that you'd never be able to do it.

I don't know why she said that to me.  In fact, I can't even remember who said it to me.  Thankfully, God has gifted me with a wonderfully forgetful mind.  It keeps me from holding grudges, but it doesn't keep me from remembering all ugly comments.  Maybe she thought she was being funny.   But then my son was born and her words haunted me a bit.  I began to wonder if she was right.  Of course, that's ridiculous.  I can absolutely be the mother to a boy.  I AM the mother to a boy!  A beautiful, smart, curious, growing, enthusiastic baby boy.

Seriously, I wondered, do I have what it takes to help my son be all that God has made him to be?  Can I teach him what he needs to know to navigate this world, full of evil?  How will I protect him, while allowing him to experience the right kind of learning through disappointments and mistakes?  And there are so many decisions to make about his health, schooling, who will care for him when I'm not around... It can seem overwhelming when I think of the awesome responsibility.

The kind of overwhelming that drives me to my knees proclaiming that I don't have what it takes.  On my own, I am incapable of being the mother my son needs.  But with God, all things are possible.  As I think of the things ahead - temptations, dangers, evil, bullies - I am reminded of what the Scriptures say in Exodus 14:14...

The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still. (NIV)

What is my job according to this scripture? To be still.  While I "be still" God will do what needs to be done.  He will fight the battle.  He will make a way.  I may not have what it takes, but He does.  As I place my trust in Him, He gives me peace and makes it possible to be still.  And suddenly, I do have what it takes to "mother a boy."  Where do you need God to fight for you?  Have faith.  Be healthy!

First Things First

As it is the 2nd (3rd when you read this), my mind is still on the beginning of a new year.  Things I want to accomplish professionally and personally, anticipation for wonderful milestones with my baby boy, and hopes for expanding our family.  I'll get back to all of that on the next post.  Today is about priorities.

As I was working through my day - feed the baby, play, rock the baby to sleep, write/email/laundry, repeat - I read a post on Facebook that a friend's son is being moved to hospice following a battle with cancer.  The post stopped me in my tracks.  My friend is the same age as me, we went to high-school together.  She started her family earlier, so her son is nearly grown.  Still, my heart knows that he remains her baby boy and it breaks with hers at the thought of what she's facing.  I can hardly force myself to think about it.  As a new mom, my heart is too tender still, hormones too ripe - no, that wouldn't matter.  Mothers aren't supposed to bury their children.  I prayed for her right away.  I've prayed for her over and over today.

After reading her post, my perspective shifted.  My priorities got right.  I cried for her.  I found myself on my hands and knees scrubbing the shower praying for her.  Crying for her and at the same time thanking God that my greatest inconvenience of the day is fighting the mold in my shower grout.  Grateful that I have the opportunity to be exhausted from lack of sleep and days that run into each other as I change diapers, wake up at night to calm tears, feed and rock my son, clean our house (even the floors and the bathrooms), and work for my clients, without the heartbreak my friend suffers.  But for the grace of God...

Yet I know the grace of God is with her too.  It is with her son.  Though they may not always know, His grace is with all those who suffer loss, injustice, the unfairness of cancer, "random" accidents, heartbreaks that we cannot, do not understand.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit. ~Psalm 34:18

I do not understand why.  I won't pretend to understand.  I have borne witness to the losses of friends and loved ones - holding the hands and sharing my heart with others as they've lost in ways I do not fully understand.  Felt completely helpless, useless, because I didn't understand why then either.  In the midst of loss, I have known what I know still.  God does not leave us alone in our pain.  We may not always feel His presence or hear his voice, but He does not leave us.  Whatever comes, my deepest desire is that my heart be tethered to Him, to the One who knows, who sees all of history past and future together and knows the whole story. And to be able to share that with others in their suffering - and in their joy.

Abide in me and I in you.  As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in me. ~John 15:4

I want to abide in Jesus.  [Verb: Abide - live; dwell.]  I want to live, to dwell with Jesus. To find rest in Jesus. How do I do that in a crazy world? with so many competing "priorities"? with pain and suffering and sorrow?  The simple phrase "keep first things first" fits.  If Jesus is to be first, it must be how I start each day.  Scripture.  Prayer.  To prioritize means to make first, more important than other things.  First thing each day I need to seek His face, His will, His word.  First thing when worry, fear, calamity strike.  First thing when I see needs, feel the heartache of someone else.  To paraphrase Ann Graham Lotz...Jesus.  Just give me Jesus.  Not Jesus and ___.  Jesus is enough.  He is first.  Abide in Him today.

Sunday Solitude

Solitude is a gift.  Moments alone to reflect, pray and meditate are vital.  Often these moments come as I rock a restless baby.

Today, I'm thinking about my friends, family and those around me in need.  Lifting them one by one in my mind, I pray.

Lord, give her strength, give him wisdom, bless their home, bring him peace.  Father, thank you for the gift of my friends and family.  Thank you for the works you are doing in their lives.  Thank you that you are already in their tomorrows.  Give them peace today.  I'll take some too. 

xo & amen.